Karen Quinn's Blog

Blog Moved!

2007-04-07T11:02:00.000-04:00

Join me at my new blog address:
http://karenquinn.net/category/blog/

Mama Gena, New Book, Sweet 16

2007-03-31T12:11:00.000-04:00

Did I mention that I spent last weekend at Mama Gena's School of the Womanly Arts? Well I did. It's the second time I'm taking the course. It's an incredibly empowering program that teaches you to recognize and tap into the power you have just because you're a woman. I don't have the words to do justice to the specifics of the program, but it has been transformative for me. It is like nothing I have ever experienced before (and I've done lots of training through the years). After taking it the first time, I realized I had much further to go, so I signed up again. If you're interested in learning more, she has books available at Amazon.com and Barnesandnoble.com. Just type in Mama Gena and her books will come up.

I have two months before my third book is due and I must get cracking. So far I have a terribly rough first draft, and now I'm going back to flesh out the characters, improve my descriptions, add more humor - all the polishing that one does. My first task is to really get the main character's voice right, and I don't think I've done that yet. For the next two months I'm going deep underground - no extra-curricular stuff - until I get this book to a good place. By the way, I just read a book I enjoyed - The Spellman Files by Lisa Lutz. It was very funny.

Later today, Mark and I are going over to negotiate with the restaurant where we'll be holding Schuyler's Sweet 16. It's not going to be excessive like the TV show. We're trying to do this as cheaply as possible (not easy in NYC). Last week, Schuyler and I shopped for her party dress. We found a beautiful yellow satin number that she looked wonderful wearing. Since when do kids have Sweet 16's? In my day they didn't. But Schuyler didn't get a Bat Mitzvah (because she dropped out of Hebrew School) so she says her life won't be complete if she doesn't have this party. Mark and I fell for her logic. That's because we are guilt ridden parents by birth. Since the day she was born, we never felt we have done enough. That can get a parent in trouble, I know.

Movie excitement

2007-03-26T20:17:00.000-04:00

Book tour is officially over, whew!!! The two Ohio women who came to my reading last week were absolutely delightful - Beth and Suzen. I felt so honored that they would come from so far just to meet me. That must be how movie stars feel. We had a lovely dinner together after the reading.

I spent today with the two new screenwriters for The Ivy Chronicles, Stan and Jim - two very great guys. I love what they have in mind for the script and I feel very certain the movie will get made. My agent says you can't count your movies until they start filming, but I'm optimistic. Besides, my psychic says it's getting made and she has been right on all her big predictions so far.

Wife in the Fast Lane made the local Bestseller's List in Denver! Yipee!!

Tomorrow, it's back to work on book 3, Schuyler gets her stitches out, and I have a radio interview. It's all in a day's work.

Back to Normal

2007-03-22T09:37:00.000-04:00

It is Thursday, March 22 and I am breathing a sigh of relief. Tonight is my last reading for Wife in the Fast Lane. The appearances are both exhausting and exhilerating. Tonight, two women are coming all the way from Ohio to see me (at least I think that's where they're from - I know it's from far away and in that general area). That blows my mind. I'm taking them out to dinner to thank them for traveling from so far away. Schuyler had her surgery on Tuesday and she's doing really well. It's good to have that behind us. Mark and I had been planning to go to Scottsdale next week but I cancelled. Something came up with the Ivy movie and I have to stay in town an extra day. Something has come up with Mark's work and he has to return early, so we were only going to be able to overlap for one day in Arizona - ergo trip cancelled. Ergo - I really don't know how to use that word properly. Anyway, I don't mind that the trip was cancelled. Sleeping at home in my own bed sounds heavenly. I'm looking forward to life returning to normal. Ahhh, normal...

I Get Tired Just Writing It

2007-03-03T19:36:00.000-05:00

It has been a very busy time, pre-book launch. It is so hard to know how much time to devote to promoting the new book versus working on the next one. But I think the next few weeks will be about getting out there to spread the word about Wife in the Fast Lane, and then I'll be able to settle back into my new novel. I went to Houston last week and spoke to a fabu group of 350 women who bought tons of copies of Wife (yay! I loved them!). The night before I spoke, they held a party at the Shoe Department of Neiman's - so much fun, then took me out for a delish dinner. Next week, I'll be reading at The Corner Bookstore, then flying off to Denver to read at the Tattered Cover, do some TV, and attend some lovely events sponsored by my good friends in that city. Then back to New York for a reading at Barnes and Noble, then up to Scarsdale to teach at the Young Writer's Conference, then a weekend at Mama Gena's School of the Womanly Arts, and finally a trip to Arizona with Mark. What a whirlwind. I don't see myself doing much writing during that time. Well, there's always April.

Book Party

2007-02-22T19:20:00.000-05:00

Hi there. Long time no blog. I've been tres busy with my wifeinthefastlane contest. What can I say? But we did have a party the other night. It was our annual winter soiree, which we decided would have to double as a book party because we couldn't figure out another time to celebrate the publication. Anyway, it was SO much fun. All of our good friends were there. The magnificent Lezlie Harrison performed. She is an out of this world singer that Mark and I both adore. I've posted some of the pictures so you can get a peek at the fun. Wish you'd been there!

Our Annual Holiday Letter

2007-01-16T18:08:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year! Can you believe how late I am? You can? Oh that's cold. Meanwhile, here is my family's holiday letter that I am posting for your reading pleasure. I didn't get it out until well into January, so don't think you're being singled out by getting it late. Cheers!

Dear friends, family, and assorted others who found their way into my address book,

Happy holidays! I know. I'm beyond late [see, I was late for everyone!]. It's just that, as many of you know, I always send out a holiday letter. Only this year, I decided not to because it felt like nothing interesting happened. Then last week, my friend Ken IM'ed me and said he missed my letter. That got me thinking, how can I disappoint my devoted annual Christmas/Chanukah, Kwanza letter followers? I can't and I won't. So here it is. The Quinn family letter, belated, but emailed with love from my computer to yours.

When I said nothing happened this year, I wasn't exactly kidding. Sam, who is 14, retreated to his bedroom last January and hasn't come out except for school, food, allowance, and periodic showers. I wonder what he's doing in there. No doubt studying theromdynamics or the Talmud. The photo of him is from last year because there have been so few sightings much less photographs taken of late. I adore what I remember about the boy, but I look forward to the day when this hormonal siege ends and my little man returns to my waiting arms. On the purely physical side, I saw a figure darting from his room to the shower the other day and noted that he's now about a foot taller than me which is good because I'm practically a midget.

Schuyler, who is 15, has moved past the raging hormones and emerged a lovely, social butterfly who flits in and out of our house with her posse in tow at all hours of the day or night. She has become an accomplished aerial ballet dancer, so if the whole education thing doesn't work out, Cirque Du Soleil is Plan B. Schuyler is starring as Margot in her school's production of Anne Frank, which I cannot wait to see (and secretly videotape for anyone who would like to come over and watch). She's planning a Super Sweet 16 party, but was thoughtful enough to say that she wasn't expecting us to present her with a car or a diamond tiara at the soiree's climax. This was good because (and please don't spoil the surprise) we were just planning to present her with a bouquet of carnations from the Korean deli on Chambers Street.

Mark is still general counsel of his company, which means that he works late hours and wears boss-like suits. But he continues to travel to important track and field meets around the world, and sometimes I tag along and pretend to be interested. His love of jazz has not waned. We've had some great parties this year where phenomenal musicians and singers have performed in our living room. That always makes me feel like I'm living in one of those old New York movies where Mark is Cary Grant, drinking martinis, and I'm Ingrid Bergman, smoking a cigarette, while a cool jazz trio plays in the corner for all our urbane friends. Actually, Mark doesn't drink martinis and I don't smoke, but otherwise we're exactly like Cary and Ingrid.

We celebrated our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary this year with a wonderful cruise to Greece, Turkey, and Italy. Mark and I both adore life at sea - dancing under the stars, midnight buffets, land tours with busloads of kvetching octogenarians. I do have to give props to the two of us for staying married so long. People say you have to work at marriage, but we just play at it. The smartest decision I ever made was to stalk Mark in law school until he asked me out. The poor sucker didn't have a chance. It turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to him (and me). It's kind of weird to think that your best life decision was to stalk someone, but in my case, it's true.

A few momentus things happened to me this year. I lost weight and got into shape, which was a huge accomplishment for a lazy porker like me. The picture above was taken before I lost 20 pounds. Now I look like a model, only shorter. And older. This year, I got to be on the View, which was scary and mad-cool at the same time. All the ladies were really nice to me except for Star who wouldn't shake my hand when I offered it. But the universe abhors a bitch, and, well, we all know how that story ended. Last fall, I enrolled in Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts, which has been enormously fun, shocking even to a cosmo girl like me, and not discussable in a G-rated family letter. Check it out if you're interested: http://www.mamagena.com/. UPDATE: I graduated from Mama's school last Sunday and instead of wearing those boring black caps, we wore diamond tiaras!

Here's exciting news. I have a new book coming out in the U.S. this March, Wife in the Fast Lane. It's already released and doing marvelously (she said modestly) in the UK and Australia. My enormously complicated life, and that of every other woman I know, inspired this one. It takes place in the ultra-privileged world of Fifth Avenue where I got to poke fun at rich people behaving badly (tee hee). If you are reading this letter, then I consider you to be one of my closest confidants, and I think (in a mad act of friendship), you should drop everything and pre-order your copy this very moment. Here, this link will make it easier for you: http://www.amazon.com/Wife-Fast-Lane-Karen-Quinn/. Go ahead. I'll wait. La-de-da, la-de-da.

Back already? Don't you just love the internet? Speaking of which, we're doing an on-line contest for the book that I know you'll want to get in on. All you have to do is express your own truth about life in the fast lane via a video, essay, or just a quick one-liner (I knew I was living in the fast lane when...For me, it was when I surprised Sam by picking him up at school one day and he asked if our nanny had died). For legal reasons too boring to explain, you have to be a U.S. or Canadian resident to enter (but anyone from anywhere can volunteer to judge, submit work just to have it seen, vote for their favorites, and enjoy the submissions).

Anyway, all these great merchants have given us the BEST prizes, including a $2,000 gift certificate to Canyon Ranch, a gorgeous gold charm bracelet from my family's jewelry store, Christian Tse gold and platinum earrings, chocolate bon bons, beautiful purses, and lots more. I could go on and on, but take a look at the site. I really hope you'll participate and tell all your friends about it because (in all sincerity) this is my first contest and I'm depending on the kindness of friends and strangers to help me get the word out. Here's the link: http://karenquinn.net/wife-in-the-fast-lane-contest/.

Okay, no more shameless plugs. They have no place in the sacred space of holiday letters, which are and should remain pure unadulterated spin-doctored ruminations about our perfect lives. Your life is perfect right? I know, mine is too. Only yesterday, four dreams came true. On another note, have you made any New Year's resolutions you probably won't keep? here are mine...
* Stay on the fitness path.
* Do one fun thing every day even if it kills me.
* Stop saying "yes" to things I don't want to do.
* Lure Sam out of his room.
* Have more playtime with Mark.
* Stop whining.
* Laugh more.
* Spend more time with my amazing friends.
* Give Smokey (our Russian Blue) a bath. She really stinks.
* Write daily.
* Pass my womanly wisdom on to Schuyler.

Well, that's all for this year's holiday letter. Maybe next year will be more eventful. Mark, Schuyler, Sam and I wish you a joyful, healthy, and successful New Year. I love you all and think of you every day, even those of you who don't remember giving me your email address.

Love, Karen

P.S. Smokey and Cookie wish you Happy New Year, too!

In search of fake purses

2006-12-17T13:06:00.000-05:00

I don't know what happened, but I think that Christmas is coming early this year. Wasn't it summer just five minutes ago? That's what it feels like to me. Schuyler and I decided to buy great fake bags for our loved ones this year. So we moseyed down to Canal Street to make our purchases. We walked right past Julia Styles on the street, which was tres exciting, especially for Schuyler. It's weird to walk by someone famous. Your first thought is that you know the person, they're a friend, and you want to say "hi." Then you realize, oops, you've just seen them in the movies. The only thing I can say about Julia Styles is that she was taller than I expected. Anyway, back to Canal Street. The cops have come down hard on merchants selling fake designer bags, so they only show non-fakes in their shops. By that I mean, bags that looks like they have the "LV" logo from far away, but when you get close up, you see that it's really "IW." What you have to do is to signal one of the Chinese women in the store that you want to see the REAL thing. A subtle nod will do. So, we did this, and the shop woman motioned for us to follow her. She took us around the corner, into the alley, unlocked a padlocked door which revealed a steep staircase. We walked up three flights and entered a loft-like room, where several Chinese men sat guarding boxes and boxes of fake purses. Being alone up there with my daughter made me very nervous. I realized that we were completely vulnerable and if anyone decided to rob us and chop us up into little pieces, no one would ever know what happened. Come to think of it, that would make a good episode of Law and Order or perhaps, even a novel. Getting murdered while buying fake designer bags would be as embarassing as dying while getting a face lift. You'd feel like the biggest fool on the face of the earth. Luckily, the woman took us into another room where the really good fakes were all on display. We bought about a dozen bags and hightailed it out of there. I was relieved to be safely back on the street. If any of my relatives are reading this, I hope you'll appreciate the risk we took to buy your Christmas present this year. I'm not sure I want to do that again.

Happy Thanksgiving

2006-11-26T17:19:00.000-05:00

Did you have a good Thanksgiving? We certainly did. I think I need a week off to recover from this week. My mother came on Monday and we cooked nonstop Tuesday and Wednesday. We did take time off to go visit our psychic and both received excellent forecasts for the immediate future. Of course, I was thankful for that. My brothers both came (from Denver and Dallas) so it was wonderful to see them. On Wednesday night, we went to see Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons, which was lots of fun. He was at Rose Hall at the Time Warner Center, a gorgeous new theater. To my surprise, Frankie can still belt 'em out, including those "is that really a man" falsetta notes. Fans literally stormed the stage when he sang Sherry. The ushers were alarmed because they weren't used to fans going nuts at such a la-di-da venue, but since most of the stormers were over fifty, there was no danger. Our friends, Jan and Bob, whom we met on our our cruise this summer came for Thanksgiving and spent the weekend. Mark and I had a great time showing them around the city. On Friday and Saturday nights, we went to Sweet Rhythm to see our friend, Lezlie Harrison, who was singing for the first time there. She was excellent. Lezlie has sung at parties at our house, but I'd never seen her perform at a jazz club. The woman is absolutely mesmerizing. Jan and Bob left today, so we've been trying to put the house back in order. We had hidden all our junk for Thanksgiving, but now we can take it out and let it clutter our home once again. I'm looking forward to going back to my boring but comfortable routine, starting tomorrow.

Great review for Wife in the Fast Lane

2006-11-20T18:48:00.000-05:00

I'm very excited to report that Wife in the Fast Lane got a great review in Publisher's Weekly. This is thrilling because they didn't give Ivy such a good review and I was so bummed about that. When that review came out, it was like the time Schuyler took the Stamford Binet IQ test and I found out she was not a genius. I was shocked and dismayed. When Publisher's Weekly gave Ivy a marginal review, I couldn't believe it - my baby wasn't a genius. I've decided that it all depends on who gets the assignment. The Publisher's Weekly review is an important one because the booksellers read those and it can affect their orders. So YAY me on my good review. Here it is:

Wife in the Fast Lane
Karen Quinn. Touchstone, $14 paper (488p) ISBN 978-0-7432-9396-9
Quinn (The Ivy Chronicles) spins a delightful story about the unsinkable Christy Hayes, a former Olympic gold medalist turned successful entrepreneur whose comfy life is about to hit a bumpy patch. Founder and CEO of athletic shoe company Baby G, Christy lands an ideal husband, Michael Drummond, a wealthy media mogul who's survived a bad marriage. Things are swell until Christy's housekeeper and confidant dies, leaving behind her precocious 11-year-old granddaughter, Renata Ruiz, whom Christy takes in. Michael, however, wants nothing to do with another child, as his daughter despises him. Just when the domestic scene is looking bleak, Christy is ousted from the top spot at Baby G, contretemps erupt at the private school Christy sends Renata to (Christy and the head of the PTA have a history), and another of Christy's antagonists sets her sights on Michael. Christy's battles to save her marriage and public image provide pages of good reading, though the plot hinges on a string of coincidences, and Michael's revulsion toward parenting feels forced. Still, Quinn's sharp portrayal of shady corporate dealings and shadier private school shenanigans is good fun up to its happy ending. (Mar.)

A lovely day

2006-11-10T21:38:00.000-05:00

This has been a busy week of writing, soliciting prizes for my contest, and shopping. Lord have mercy, did I go on a retail bender today! It was so much fun and I bought the cutest outfits. I don't know what came over me. First, I met my screenwriter, who I absolutely adore, for lunch . We went to a new Greek place which was delish. Boy did the studio assign the right screenwriter to adapt my book. We think so much alike and we really do enjoy each other's company. Plus she has great doctor recommendations for any kind of medical specialist you could ever want. It is important to know people who know things like that. She also has amazing taxi karma - she can conjure a taxi out of nowhere when one can't be found. Plus we have daughters the same age and both of our youngest kids go to the same school. How lucky am I to even know my screenwriter (most authors never meet the screenwriters), much less adore her? So, after lunch, she mentioned to me how wonderful body butter from the Body Shop was. So I went in and bought two tins of it (in olive oil and pomogranate flavors - I'm anxious to try them both). Then I happened to walk past my favorite shop and ducked in (BIG MISTAKE) and bought a cool black sweater and three very sexy tops. After buying all these clothes, what was I to do but get my nails done (Schuyler joined me for some mother-daughter bonding). It was one of those very girly days I love so much. Little writing got done. Oh well. There's always next week.

Meanwhile, I've been soliciting prizes for my contest (which starts January 2) and I've gotten some wonderful things - gold jewelry, bath products, books, panty of month club, accessories, gorgeous evening bags, makeup, beautiful scarves, chocolate - OMG - what an amazing contest this will be. You must enter it! BUT one company I solicited thought someone was using my name to scam them into giving a thief free prizes. Apparently someone pretended to be Jessica Simpson's assistant and got all these businesses to give her free stuff for Jessica (but not really). This particular bad girl is going to jail. The company really thought that's what was going on. Frankly, you'd have to be a pretty dumb scam artist to use my name to get free stuff. I mean, who has ever heard of me???? I'm about as famous as Hester Brown - ever heard of her? I thought not. She wrote The Little Lady Agency, a book I randomly chose from my bookshelf to make the point. I suppose I should be honored to think that someone in the world thought that I had a name worthy of using to steal stuff. But alas, I don't. My solicitation was for real. And the company was so sweet. They contacted me at my web site to warn me about the possible scam. Honestly, people are so nice. I hope they participate in the contest after all that.

Mama Gena

2006-11-06T22:16:00.000-05:00

I had the most wonderful weekend at my second Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts Mastery class. Mama Gena is spreading the word about the pleasure revolution for women and it is the most fun you could ever have with your clothes on (and in fact, sometimes our clothes are not on). The class is participatory; it is empowering in the way that women's lib was to ladies of yore, but there's a lot more fun, dancing, kissing, and sex involved. Seriously, the homework assignment Saturday night was to get a strange man to kiss you. Many of the women in class were quite successful at it, thank you very much. I was not, but I didn't try. I'm somewhat of a slacker when it comes to homework. Yesterday we learned about massive extended orgasms for women. I have a book to read where I'll learn more. This is homework I will be doing. Anyway, if you're intrigued, check out her web site at http://www.mamagenas.com/ . I'm having a blast taking the class and would love to take it again in the Spring. In fact, 30% of the women in class have taken the program before. The women in the program are incredibly wonderful and inspiring (and they're from all over the world). I feel like this will be a life changing experience for me.

Besides my Mama Gena program, I've been writing with a goal of getting twenty pages a week. So my new book is slowly taking shape. That's been fun. And, I've been busy creating the coolest contest we're going to roll out in January in anticipation of Wife in the Fast Lane coming out. I've been soliciting prizes for the contest and I'm getting some great loot so I hope you will participate. It'll give you a chance to show your creative side by expressing your experience of life in the fast lane through video or the written word. Stay tuned.

Ten pounds later...

2006-10-31T09:35:00.000-05:00

Muy apologies for not having written. Is that how you spell muy? Anyway, I've been swamped, swamped I tell you. Writing. Dieting. Parenting. Wife-ing. Yeow! It takes up so much time. Plus, I attended my first Mama Gena's School of Womenly Arts class about a month ago and she gave us a lot of homework. There's another session this weekend and I'm cramming to get all my assignments done. I'll write about the class after next week. As a writer, I didn't have the words to describe the experience. Excellent class but quite shocking. That's all I can say. I'm rushing off to breakfast at the W Hotel with friends. But I wanted to report the amazing weight loss of 10 pounds. It could be more (or less) depending where I stand on my cheap scale. I like to stand towards the back where it looks like I've lost the most. Anyway, it's all due to exercise and eating less. Duh! But I'm also taking lots of vitamins and supplements - about 40 a day. It would be a lot less if I could swallow a big pill, but I can't. So everything has to be cut in half. Must run. I promise to write more after Mama Gena's class next weekend. I'll do my best to describe this indescribable experience. Hugs, Karen

I was a bad, bad girl

2006-10-08T21:42:00.000-04:00

I just did the most terrible thing. I have shocked myself to the core of my very being because I never violate rules or laws, but tonight I did. I really wanted to see "The Queen," so I went to the theater at 23rd and 8th. But the film was sold out. So I bought a ticket to "Little Miss Sunshine," which I've seen and loved and decided to see again. As I walked toward my theater, I saw that the theater next door was for "The Queen." So I ducked inside and took a seat. I was SO nervous. The theater was filling up and I was just waiting for the usher to come down the aisle with his flashlight asking everyone to present proof of having bought a ticket. I decided I would just say I'd lost my ticket if they asked me. But finally, the lights dimmed and the movie started and there I was illegally, immorally, and unethically sitting in a seat in which I was not entitled to sit. It was kind of thrilling really. I felt like an criminal or at least a bad seed. Let's hope I don't go to hell for this. It's the kind of thing I'd yell at my children for doing - and rightly so. If you happened to go to that movie tonight, but could not find a seat, then please accept my apologies. I was wrong and I'll never do it again. In fact, confessing the crime has been cathartic. Meanwhile, the movie was quite good and I'd highly recommend it.

I've lost four pounds!

2006-10-06T11:03:00.000-04:00

...which goes to show you that it can be done. I'm following the plan I laid out with the nutritionist and exercise physiologist at Canyon Ranch and it's working. If (no, WHEN) I make my goal, I'll get a sexy nude picture taken and post it on this site. On second thought, scratch that. My children read my blog. There's probably nothing more gross and disgusting to a child than the site of their mother naked (even if she's lost 25 pounds). Speaking of gross, I saw Olivia Newton John on the Today Show today and she looks tres bizarre. She's had so much work done on her face that I swear she has morphed into Calista Flockhart. She has those big Calista lips and those high sticking out Calista cheekbones. Seriously, where'd the old Olivia go? That is so sad. I noticed the same thing about Cynthia Nixon. She's had a lot of work and she no longer looks like the Sex in the City Cynthia. But she looks better than Calista, I mean Olivia.

Canyon Ranch photos

2006-10-04T17:46:00.000-04:00

I promised I'd share some of the pictures I took at Canyon Ranch and here they are...

This is the area outside the clubhouse where we eat all that delicious, healthy, fart inducing food.

This is a house I've admired for years along the path of our daily walk. Wouldn't you love to know what's behind those blue doors?

A lovely photo of the beautiful Arizona desert taken along our walk.

Below is my road less traveled picture. I think it could go on a book cover or a greeting card!

Quick note, if the pictures are screwed up or repeated or otherwise not as they should be, please pardon. I'm having a lot of trouble managing the photo feature of this blogging thingamajig.

So, back to Canyon Ranch. Mom and I had a fantastic time this year at our visit. I learned a lot about nutrition and exercise. You'd think I'd know it all by now after seven years visiting this spa, but no, there's always more. I finally get why cocoa puffs are bad for me. Who knew? That's progress. I also worked with a wonderful doctor who did all kinds of blood work for my heart and hormones, plus gave me a bone density test. I have a lot of work to do - need to lose weight and do more weight bearing exercises. Oh, the perils of growing old (and overeating).

While I was there, I picked up an excellent book by a doctor at the ranch - Ultrametabolism by Dr. Mark Hyman. There's a website too. If you sign up for the newsletter they send you all these interesting tips on health and weight loss. I highly recommend the book and the site. http://www.ultrametabolism.com/

Mom and I took several cooking classes while we were there, so I came home and cooked up a storm - all healthy stuff that I've frozen so we can eat well with little prep time. I've also stepped up my workout so I can lose...dum de dum dum...25 pounds. I'll be a stick at that point, but why not, eh? Let's hope I stay motivated, always the hard part after getting all pumped up towards a goal. Don't you just wish there were a magic pill you could take? I do.

I'm home and writing again. My goal is to finish a first draft by Christmas. So many goals, so little time. Had lunch with Lizzie Noble today, a wonderful author who just moved to New York from London (The Friendship Test, The Tenko Club, The Reading Group). She's really loving it here and it was fun to hear her observations of how life in Manhattan differs from that in London. She is quite impressed with that clear plastic protection paper that moves on the toilet seats at Saks (and other toilets throughout the city). I guess they don't have those in the UK.

One more thing, very cool. When I was in line at the Tuscon Airport to go home, a woman tapped me on the shoulder and asked if I was "the author." I couldn't believe it. Someone actually recognized me. It was a movie star moment.

Greetings from Canyon Ranch

2006-09-27T18:10:00.000-04:00

Yes, I send you greetings from Tucson, Arizon - Canyon Ranch. I'm on my annual mother daughter bonding and get healthy trip with, who else, but mom. We are about four days into the trip and having an amazing time as always. I'll post some pictures shortly. Canyon Ranch is all about healthy living in any and every way you can imagine. Everything you eat is prepared with fresh, healthy ingredients (leading to mass farting among the guests due to excessive ruffage), you exercise - everything you can imagine - swimming aerobics, strength training, dancing, boxing, pilates - I could go on and on - any sport or activity you can think of (except sailing, surfing, scuba). Mom and I start with a two mile hike every morning. After, we take about four very vigorous exercise classes followed by an hour of stretching. We're also visiting doctors for blood work, bone density tests, nutritionists, exercise physiologists, etc. The day ends with a massage and then another healthy, delicious, fart producing, dinner. Alas, as night falls, we too fall (into bed). It's a wonderful vacation and I am so lucky to have my mother to enjoy it with. I'm not writing this week, but I am pondering the next act of my new book. Hmmmm...

Seeing Jessica Lang

2006-09-21T09:48:00.000-04:00

This'll be a quickie because I need to get to my writing. Next week I'll be going to Canyon Ranch to spa out, so I've set a goal for pages per day and sadly, I'm a bit behind.

Yesterday I had lunch with my friend Janet who is both a writer and a psychic. In fact, she has just written a wonderful book about her many psychic readings through the years and landed an agent. Yay Janet! It is a bit nerve wracking hanging out with a psychic because you wonder if she's reading your mind, even by accident, or seeing something in your future that she doesn't mention. But Janet is so fun to be with and interesting to talk to that I try to put all that out of my mind. I wonder if she knows that? Anyway, we were eating at Odeon and sitting right behind us was Jessica Lang. She was wearing no makeup and looked absolutely amazing. The woman is quite beautiful.

Schuyler did get the part in her school play - she'll be Margo in Anne Frank. I'm really proud of her. She also just got her dental work done and now has a $6,500 smile. Don't let anyone ever tell you children aren't expensive. But they're worth it.

Okay, off to my manuscript...

Saturday

2006-09-09T14:38:00.000-04:00

Schuyler is in her room belting out "Suddenly Seymour." I'm smiling and just loving that child to death. I know, she drives me nuts at times, but she's so damn lovable. Do all parents of teenagers feel this way? She's trying out for the school play next week - Anne Frank. I'm her acting coach. Hopefully she'll get the part. Sam is still sleeping and it's 2 p.m. I've checked to be sure he's still alive and he still is. I let him sleep so late because 1) he's going back to school next week so why shouldn't he veg out if that's what he wants to do, and 2) he's a teenage boy and I think, although I'm not certain, children only grow when they're sleeping. He's trying to put on five more inches before he stops growing.

My shoulder and neck are killing me. I'm going to have to call in one of those ergonomic specialists. This is the downside of writing six hours a day, although many people work on computers all day. Hence, the development of the ergonomic specialist. I hope this doesn't cost me an arm and a leg.

My editor sent me the proposed book cover of Wife in the Fast Lane for the U.S. It's our third attempt and I think they really got it this time. As a wife in the fast lane myself, I wish I could put myself together like the WIFL on the cover. She's much more elegant and fancily dressed than I'll ever be. And her legs! Yowza yowza! They're amazing. This is good because the protagonist is a former Olympic runner. Yes, I think they got it.

back to school

2006-09-08T21:28:00.000-04:00

This was the first week back to school for Schuyler. Now I remember why I so prefer summer with the kids to fall. We had our first fight in ages over what she was going to wear on day 1. The outfit she attempted to slide by me consisted of leggings with a short, tight top that ended right beneath her butt. Good for an 18-year-old going to a club, bad for a 15- year-old going to school. I made her put shorts over the leggings and she was SO humiliated. She said she looked like a parachute. A parachute? Next week Sam goes back (but not until Friday). I look forward to days of quiet writing ahead.

Some Odds and Ends

2006-09-04T22:17:00.000-04:00

It is Labor Day weekend and the air has cooled to a crisp 70 degrees. We went to the U.S. Open on Friday night, only to watch rain instead of tennis. Luckily we were enjoying one of those fancy corporate boxes so we ate a delightful catered dinner and drank some lovely chardonay before catching the train home. So it wasn't a total loss. Plus, they gave us very cool goody bags that included Swatch Watches. I know that compared to Oscar and Emmy swag, that's not much. But in my world, a free Swatch Watch is nothing to sneeze at.

Schuyler and I went shopping for her school clothes and ran into Whoopie Goldberg on West Broadway in Soho. She was walking with a tall, handsome dude with lots of braids (just like hers). Between new clothes and major dental work, my daughter has tapped me out. Note to file: sell another book fast.

Mark and I were just out walking on the Upper West Side and we popped into Barnes and Noble. There was a pile of "The Ivy Chronicles" sitting on the "Favorite Paperbacks" table. I was so excited. A woman was organizing the books so I thanked her for putting them there. She asked if I'd like to sign them and I said, "moi? But of course." So I am just back from an unexpected book signing. I looked completely schlubby and was carrying my leftover dinner and a carton of milk. It was kind of embarassing to admit to being the author under bad hair day circumstances but I couldn't stop myself.

Here's a little scoop for you. Mark was at a party last night with a bunch of musicians, his usual partying crowd. He was told by someone in the know that Elvis Costello and Diana Krall are having twins. I knew she was pregnant, but didn't know about the twins. Well, congrats to Diana and Elvis. That's fantastic.

Happy Fall.

What I did on my summer vacation...

2006-08-17T17:34:00.000-04:00

Vacations are sadly coming to an end. Sam's last day of camp is tomorrow. Schuyler came back, then promptly left for the Hamptons. Just two more weeks of summer. Here are some photos from our vacation. We had such a great time...

Santorini, exactly what you'd expect a Greek island to look like

Mark in Santorini

The Love Boat

The rug merchant in Istanbul was so pushy that I told him I could only buy his rug if I could take a picture, then go home to see if it matched my decor. But really, I was just trying to get the out of there without spending $8,000. If I hadn't taken this photo I'd probably still be there.

Jen and Bob who were our best friends on the cruise. They're from Canada.

Me and Mark or is it Mark and I? Whatever. We took this after visiting Ephasis.

Schuyler at camp. She thinks her lips are too small which is why she makes that Betty Boop expression.

Back to reality

2006-08-09T10:37:00.000-04:00

Well, we're back home. Back to reality. It's alright. I'm ready. Sort of. The cruise was wonderful fun. We loved Santorini, and, no, we hadn't been there before. It's one of those Greek towns on top of a big mountain where all the houses and restaurants are painted white. You had to take a tram up to the top. My mom visited there last year and said the tram wasn't working so they rode donkeys to the top. One donkey fell on top of a woman riding him and broke her leg. Glad we didn't take the donkey. It was a lovely place to walk and we stopped for a drink at a cafe overlooking the water that encircled a volcano right in front of the island.

Mark in Santorini
The next day, we went to Split, Croatia. It was slightly interesting. There was an old city dating back to 300 AD that we explored. And finally, the last day, we went to Venice, Italy. It was totally amazing, as Venice always is. Such a beautiful city. And now, we're home again. Oh, minor celebrity sighting to report. We flew in the same business class cabin with either Daniel or Stephen Baldwin. I'm not sure which. Once you get past Alec I can't tell them apart. But it was definitely a Baldwin brother, no question. He looked like a total schlub and I didn't recognize him until Mark pointed him out. He was travelling with a very beautiful woman in big sunglasses.

Sam's first question on our return was, "whadja get me?" Kids never change, do they? He's trying to convince us to buy him a new laptop, which I'm resisting. He's got a computer that works just fine. I told him I'd buy him one for his birthday, but he can't wait (his birthday's in October for God's sake). Last night he was coming up with all these hairbrained schemes to earn the money to buy a laptop. My favorite was his plan to sell his sperm. Why? Because "I can produce a lot of it in a short amount of time." Just what a mother wants to hear. I don't think sperm banks accept deposits from 13-year-olds, but I encouraged him to give them a call to make sure. That would be the ultimate job for a pubescent boy - "What'd you do this summer?" "Oh, I made a mint donating sperm." Honestly, I had no idea he even knew about this. Maybe he just read about it in science class. Yeah, that's it.

Schuyler is in California visiting cousins. They're going to Yosemite National Park and San Francisco. One more week of freedom from worrying about Schuyler's whereabouts. Better enjoy it when I can.

The cruise continues...

2006-08-02T13:09:00.000-04:00

We're sailing again after having spent the day in Rhodas, Greece. Tomorrow we'll be in Santorini. I think I've been there before, but I can't remember for sure. Neither can Mark. When you take cruises and visit these small islands, they all start to run together. Yesterday we were in Ephasis (spelled wrong for sure). This is the oldest city ever discovered by archeologists - over 3,000 years old. It is an amazing excavation, with only 20% of the city uncovered. Ephasis was an advanced society with running water, whore houses, libraries, stores, homes, stadiums - everything you'd want today (well, no toilet paper or air conditioning).

The library in Ephasis
They showed us the communal bathrooms for the men. They used to sit on the marble toilets (there was a whole line of them)and pontificate, philosophize, and ponder. But there was no toilet paper so they would reach down when they had done their business and soak their left hand in the water that ran at their feet. Then they'd use that hand to wipe their butts. This is where the tradition of shaking people's right hands began! I'm not shitting you! Oops. Anyway, many of these men had slaves so in the winter they'd send their slaves over ahead of time to sit on the marble toilets and warm the stone with their own tushes. This was the first incidence of heated toilet seats ever recorded in the history of mankind. I swear, you can't make this stuff up.

Here's a picture of the communal toilets

Rhodas was fairly interesting. We explored the ancient palace there, bought a hat for Mark, and fed a stray cat. There are lots of stray cats around here. This makes me miss my own two cats, Smokey and Cookie. I hope they're faring well in the 100+ degree heat in Manhattan. I hope my son is as well. Miss him too. And my daughter who is at camp and returning on Sunday.

We've made some excellent new friends on the ship so far, plus met a few weirdos. Actually, I enjoy meeting the weirdos a lot because I can use them as characters in future books. And I certainly will. When I get back to New York, I'll post a few pictures from this trip so you can see how beautiful this part of the world is (in case you haven't been here yet).

Cruising on the Crystal

2006-07-30T12:54:00.000-04:00

I write you now from Istanbul, Turkey, where we are sailing on the good ship Crystal Symphony. It's totally luxurious and wonderful, the virtual Ritz Carleton of the sea. If you ever want to be treated like a queen, book a trip on a Crystal ship. They're amazing.

Enjoyed Istanbul quite a lot. I visited my first mosque, which was so cool. One interesting factoid is that boys don't get circumcised here until they're seven. The idea is that they should be able to understand that this is a step toward manhood. Yesterday, at the Blue Mosque (the most famous Mosque of all and if I'm spelling Mosque wrong, please forgive me), we saw a little seven-year-old in his white satin and jeweled hat and his special ceremonial robe entering the building with great excitement about his impending circumcision (to take place at the Mosque). Obviously his parents didn't tell him what he was in for. I wanted to tell him, "RUN! Escape while you can." But of course, I didn't. Perhaps it would have been seen as religiously incorrect and threatening. But that poor child!

We went to an apparently world famous night club last night called Raina. Three thousand hot, sweaty (but nicely dressed) singles out for some dancing and hook ups. This is truly not my scene and I told Mark, "this sucks, get me the #*#@ out of here." But we were with the headwaiter from the ship and he was in a funk over the demise of his marriage, so we stayed. Luckily we found a table above the noise and body odor where we could talk and drink and enjoy the amazing view. It was so weird looking down on those 3,000 tanned, toned bodies as they pulsated to current disco tunes. Most people were wearing white.

What else? We spent a few days in Athens before boarding the ship. That was fun. It was so hot there. Mark made me climb up to the Acropolis even though I'd seen it a few years ago and had no desire to climb that mountain again, especially in hundred degree weather. But I joined him because I thought it would be good exercise to counterbalance the thousands of calories I'm downing every day. When you sail the Mediteranean, every port always has some fort or castle or ancient ruins high on a mountain. Why? I don't know. But Mark always insists on climbing the mountain and seeing the ruins first hand. I usually go alone with him because, what else do we have to do? The views are quite spectacular.

Quick disturbing report about Air France. We flew Air France to Paris and then took a different flight to Athens. We were sitting in the front two seats right behind the cockpit and were dismayed to note that there was nothing barring the cockpit door. Further, the stewardesses constantly left their little prep area empty as they went about their work and passengers would come up, knock on the cockpit door, and enter to chat up the pilots. We must have seen ten passengers go up for a little visit during the flight. Coming from New York, this totally freaked us out. If we'd had the desire and skills to hijack that plane, it would have been so easy. At least getting into the cockpit would have been. Needless to say, we won't be flying Air France again. This is sad because their food was very good.

Well, I'm off. It's almost dinnertime and I must dress. Did I mention we are sitting at the Captain's table? We are. How we got assigned there, I'll never know. Perhaps they heard what a charming couple Mark and I are so they put us there to keep the Captain entertained. I do think I put my foot in my mouth the first night when I mentioned to Cap'n (that's what I call him) that if I were going to murder someone, I'd do it on a cruise ship. I've been thinking about that because I thought it might make a fun plot in a book. Cap'n looked askance at me when I mentioned how I'd pull off the perfect murder on his ship. He told me all the obstacles that would stop me which was helpful (security cameras are everywhere!). Anyway, I explained that I was a writer and my interest was purely for entertainment purposes, but Cap'n seems to think I'm weird as opposed to charming. Oh well.

Bon Apetite!