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My Thanksgiving Weekend 11.27.04 

Had a lovely Thanksgiving, thank you very much. Hope you did as well. My mother and I cooked all day Wednesday. We served a traditional feast, except for the sushi and chopped liver appetizers. My sweet potato pudding was extraordinary this year but sadly, there were no leftovers. Secretly, I hid a stash of chopped liver in the back of the fridge, so I have a few servings left to take me through the weekend before my annual post-Thanksgiving diet. I don't know why I tell myself I'm going on a diet in December. It's a lie and we all know it.

Last week, I shopped for clothes to wear on my book tour. My daily wardrobe consists of jeans, t-shirts and sweats, and my old Amex power suits have shoulder pads the size of a linebackers so I thought I'd pick up a few up-to-date jackets that could be worn over black pants and black t-shirts (which is all I own). Anyway, I bought four jackets, which I modeled for my Thanksgiving guests. Everyone voted, and two are going back to Saks tomorrow. That would be the red and orange Japanese designer jacket that my husband says makes me look like a clown. And the conservative black number that my daughter says makes me look like a man, and my son says makes me look like a doorman.

On Friday, my whole family decided I should go to Ralph Lauren and consider their jackets, so my posse and I traipsed over to Ralph's mansion on Madison. I tried a few on, which were attractive, but pricey. Sadly, in Ralph Lauren, I wear a 14, the largest size they carry. The saleslady assured me and my family members (who witnessed my humiliation) that they were cut very, very small. Hmmm, I thought. Interesting strategy. I know I always love to feel bigger than I really am. Shocking to think that no one larger than 120 pound me shops at Ralph Lauren. Suffice it to say, Ralph won't be joining me on my book tour. For the record, at Eileen Fisher, I'm an extra-small (which I assure you is correct).

Shopping for book tour clothes reminded me of the time, early in my career, when I was going on my first business trip. My parents took me out to dinner to celebrate and my dad gave me a pair of professional looking earrings to wear while traveling. Later I grew to hate business travel, but my first trip was a milestone. Maybe someday I'll hate book tours, but for now, I'm shopping in celebration.

Speaking of shopping, I took Schuyler out to buy her Christmas presents today. I love my daughter, but shopping with her is a parent's nightmare. First of all, no matter how cold the temperature, she insists on showing stomach (in fairness, I'd have mine bronzed if it looked like hers, not that it ever did). She turns men's heads wherever she goes, while I trail behind, giving every guy my evil-mom "don't even THINK about it" stare. Schuyler's favorite stores play loud, thumping, angry rap music and have floors and walls that pulsate and change colors, the latest in retail technology. Urban Outfitters was as packed as a subway train, Just say - flu exposure, flu exposure, flu exposure, no shot, no shot, no shot, aaaaaargh!!! Schuyler had a budget of $300. Her goal is to open as many presents as possible on Christmas day so she decided to spend $10 here, $12 there, $6 here - God forbid we miss even one store. "Wouldn't you like to buy a really, really expensive pair of sneakers?" I kept asking. "Or maybe a gold necklace?" I needed to pee so badly and none of the stores along Broadway have bathrooms. Why? Don't hip people urinate? I was directed to the Starbucks near Great Jones along with every other shopper. The bathroom line was three times as long as the coffee line (which was plenty long, let me tell you) so I gave up. The good news is that she spent the whole wad today, so I won't have to repeat this experience, at least not until her birthday, when we'll do it again. That's not until August and by then I'll have blocked out the pain. Anyway, hope your Thanksgiving was as good as mine.

Saturday, November 27, 2004

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