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My brain tumor 

Don't panic, but I got this terrible headache starting last Saturday that went on until today (Thursday). Making matters worse, my food tasted strange - bitter. Even chocolate tastes bad, which bums me to the core. So this morning I went on-line and researched brain tumors and do you know what two big symptoms are? Headaches that last for days and tastebud changes. Unbelievable, right? Tell me about it! I totally panicked even though my husband and mother both assured me I didn't have a brain tumor. But what do they know? He's a lawyer. She's a jeweler. And she's on a cruise. I went right to New York Magazine and looked at their Best Doctors in New York section and found myself a neurologist. Luckily, there was a cancellation at 12 and they could take me. I was frazzled with worry all the way uptown on the 4 Train. And then I thought, why the hell did I take the subway when I could have a brain tumor? Next time my mortality is in question, I am definitely springing for a taxi. It's funny what comes to mind in the face of death. But was I worried about death? No, I just kept thinking, what if I can't go on my booktour. That would be so sad. Like a big cosmic joke. Then I thought, maybe they can operate and I can recover before January 31 when I have my first event. Nah, I doubt it. It took me weeks to get over my tiny knee operation. Brain surgery is much more complicated. They don't even do it on an out-patient basis. I'm doomed. Doomed. By the time I got to the doctor's office I was bordering on despondent. Then the doctor checked me out and said he was pretty sure my brain wasn't bleeding. Bleeding? I hadn't even considered that possibility. Brain bleeding is not to be taken lightly. No one's ever told me that specifically, it's just something one knows instinctively. It turns out, the doctor thinks I have a neck injury so he scheduled a neck MRI and a brainscan just to be safe. This made sense to me. Always good to play it safe when it comes to brain matters. Anyway, he gave me some anti-inflamatories and pain pills, so the headache has gone away. But the bad taste of food still lingers. On the positive side, maybe now I can drop the weight I've been meaning to lose for the last 18 months.

Thursday, January 13, 2005

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