My So-Called Glamorous Life
It's Sunday afternoon and I just woke up. Had to get up at the crack of dawn yesterday to let the refrigerator guy in so I didn't get my big sleep. Made up for it in spades today. Sam left me a note that he's gone back to the movies. Apparently he snuck into The Wedding Crashers yesterday (rated R - on one under 18 admitted w/o an adult), ironic eh? Anyway, he was so into it that he went back today to watch it twice. Lots of explicit sex which is made to order for a prepubescent (sp?) boy. My mother was scandalized that I let him go but I figured there are a lot worse things that a 12 year old can do besides sneaking into an R rated movie. Ah, I remember sneaking into my first R rated movie like it was yesterday - it was Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice. I'm sure it was tame compared to The Wedding Crashers.
I'm on strict orders to post new pictures of Schuyler. She HATED the pictures I posted last week. Hopefully, she'll like these better. Apparently she reads my blog ("Hi there Schuyler! How's camp going?") and she came upon her photos, then contacted me immediately imploring me to remove them (I really don't know how to take them down, I swear it!) and replace them with better pics. She's having a great time at camp, at least according to the IM's I'm getting. We talk everyday on line which relieves me of the need to send letters (not packages, however, those are still mandatory). Here are the new Schuyler pictures. What do you think? Better?
I was introduced to a freelance writer from Denver, Sally Stitch, who is going to include me in a story she's writing for Women's Day. I'm excited about that, but was struck when she mentioned that she thought I lived a much more glamorous life than most of the readers of that magazine. That's because I'm the living embodiment of the anti-glamorous working mom. I never wear makeup anymore because most days no one sees me but my kids, babysitter, cats, and husband. I suppose I should try to look sexy for Mark but really, we're married 25 years. I hate to waste my expensive Chanel makeup on him unless we're going out which we never do (See! NOT glamorous). I ran into a neighbor on the elevator the other day and she said, "Oh, did you just work out?" And I said, "no, I just worked," because my everyday wardrobe is shorts and tee-shirts. Yes, Catherine Zeta Jones is going to play me in the movies, but have I ever met her? Has she called me? Have we done lunch? NO! Not only that, this week I received the tape from the Richard & Judy show where they reviewed my book. The segment was quite fabulous except for this one moment when this guest author, Toby Young I think his name was, holds up a picture of me from the London edition of Ivy and says, "Can you believe that Catherine Zeta Jones is going to play HER!" The way he said it, I was surprised that he didn't hurl chunks all over Richard and Judy. And trust me, it's not like Michael Douglas would play Toby in the movie version of his life. Jason Alexander would be perfect. It's not that I'm trying to be as mean to Toby as he was to me. It's just that OF COURSE I look nothing like CZJ - I'm unglamorous like 99.9% of the rest of the world. That's why she's a movie star and I'm not. Anyway, the lovely Judy stood up for me and said she thought Rene Zelwegger would be perfect to play me. And even though I know she was thinking about the fat Rene Zelwegger, I still appreciated the sentiment and will forever be a Judy fan.
I did do one rather glamorous thing this week. I went to Peter Max's studio as I said I was going to. I Met Peter himself, who was so friendly. But talk about feeling unglamorous. When Paul Zerler introduced me to him to him, he referred to me as a famous author (of course Peter had never heard of me or my book). When you look around Peter's studio, you see the people he has painted - Christopher Reeves, Sting, Mick Jagger - Bill Clinton's saxophone, a piano signed by the Beatles. Compared to all the glamorous people Peter Max has met in his life, I'm so not worthy. Still, I so enjoyed getting to know Paul Zerler better. He's the man who invited me to Peter's studio. Paul is a very accomplished art appraiser who I'm convinced knows everyone in the world. He told me stories of hanging out with Luciano Pavaratti, Frank Sinatra, Andrew Wyath and lots of other luminaries that totally impressed me. Paul has been appraising all the artifacts that have come off of the Titanic and is going to introduce me to the man heading the Titanic project. But what most impressed me about Paul was how he could remember everyone's phone number. He was like, "Now, you MUST call Luciano. You can get him at 818-456-9879. Or else try his cell at 989-847-9243. And if he doesn't answer, try his wife at 818-878-4837." He did that with every single person he mentioned. And the guy's in his 80's. Although he doesn't look a day over 70. I can't remember my own phone number most of the time so I'm very impressed with anyone who has such a brilliant head for numbers. Talk about a guy who has led a glamorous life!
Oh, here's a big piece of news I forgot to mention. My English publish, Simon and Schuster, is taking my new book - Wife in the Fast Lane. I'm still waiting to hear from Viking in the U.S., but I'm very hopeful. Meanwhile, I'm working hard on a new children's book, a novel really, called India Fudge and the Time Travel Tunnel. I needed something to do after finishing Wife, so I thought I'd try my hand at a book for kids about my own childrens' ages. I'm loving doing this one. Time Travel novels are my personal favorites.
And one last piece of bummer news. Mark and I were all set to go on this amazing cruise around Greece, Italy and Istanbul in August. First we were going to this world track and field championship in Helsinki, Finland. BORING! But I agreed to go because I knew we'd be going on the very cool cruise right after. Well, Mark had a bunch of cases blow up at work and we've had to cancel our fabulous cruise! Now, my vacation is going to be watching a bunch of half-naked athetes run around a tartan track all day in Helsinki which is essentially the Cleveland, Ohio of Europe. Nothing personal to Cleveland, Ohio, but it's just not a place I would go on vacation. I'm hoping Helsinki will turn out to be better than I expect, and we'll be with our friends Stacy and Stuart, and they're a lot of fun. But still. I've been to Helsinki once and the most exciting thing we saw there was a bunch of cops commanding a german shephard to attack a drunk on the street who refused to get in the paddy wagon. And the german shephard jumped the guy and bit him silly. I'm not kidding. That really happened.
Anyway, see you in Helsinki.
P.S. I just returned from dinner and want to add one thing. Above, when I was trying to think of the actor who should play Toby Young in the movies, I wanted to say Wallace Shawn but for the life of me I couldn't remember his name. I could picture him perfectly in Woody Allen's last movie (Melinda and Melinda, I think), but his name just wouldn't come to me. So, I suggested that Jason Alexander should be the one to play Toby. Anyway, Mark and I just went on one of our 5 mile Sunday night walks, and in Greenwich Village who did I run right into but Wallace Shawn (out with his friends). Of course, the moment I saw him I remembered his name. But isn't that a remarkable coincidence?
Sunday, July 24, 2005