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Do you and Daddy have sex? 

So Sam asks me tonight, "do you and Daddy have sex?" I said, "yeah, sure, of course we do. That's what happens when you get married." So Sam says, "OH MY GOD! With young, impressionable children just 100 feet away?" "Of course," I told him. He says he is traumatized by the mere thought of it. Am I really that gross to my son or would does every child think that about their parents no matter what?

Yesterday, Schuyler faked sick and stayed home from school. I knew she was going to from the minute she woke up and complained of a headache. She used the scratchy-fake-sick voice. Then I insisted she take a shower and get ready for school. Next thing I knew, she stuck her head out of the bathroom and said (in scratchy fake-sick voice), "Mom, I just threw up in the shower." So I said, "Well, did you finish your shower?" "No," she said. "Get back in there and finish it," I said. "You mean step in the vomit?" she asked. "Yes, but don't slip." I didn't make her go to school because I knew I'd just get a call by second period that she felt sick and needed to come home. I insisted she stay in bed and wouldn't let her order Chinese food for lunch. That was the meanest I could be. Later, she kept talking in the scratchy-fake-sick voice and I told her she could stop because I knew she was faking.

The night before, she went out to dinner with me and my old friend, Kathleen (from Denver). Somehow we got to talking about old times and Kathleen said something about magic mushrooms. So I said to her, "Were you at my shroom party in the eighties?" I totally forgot that Schuyler was sitting at the table. Schuyler was flabbergasted and confronted me on my earlier drug experimentation. I admitted to taking mushrooms once at my party and having a terrible experience with them (true). And I also admitted to trying marijuana once or twice and hating it (also true). I sort of fell headfirst into that moment that parents dread - when their kids ask them if they did drugs and they have to decide whether to lie of be honest. I was pretty honest. Mark thinks a parent should never admit drug use to their children, even if they did very little or had a bad experience with it. Well, it's too late for me. I reacted in the moment and can't take it back. For any of you parents out there who haven't been confronted with this issue yet, I suggest you decide ahead of time what you'll say. Unfortunately, I didn't plan and did what I did, which probably isn't what I would have done had I thought about it.

Today I talked with a reporter from New York Magazine who is doing an article on private school admissions in December. He was fun to talk to and I sent him a book.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

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