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Post-View and Poop 

After my big appearance on The View, Mark and I jetted off to exciting Miami Beach for a week. It was a securities conference for Mark and I came along as "the wife." I always like being "the wife" at those things. All I have to do is tag along with Mark at the cocktail parties and smile and nod. The kids joined us on Wednesday. It was their first experience flying alone. I worried about them getting on the wrong plane all day, but nothing went wrong and they actually showed up on the right flight.

Sam is on vacation this week and he is mainly just laying around watching TV. That makes me feel kind of guilty - like I should have stayed in Florida with him for another week and provided him with a beach. Certainly all the other parents at his school took their kids on a fabulous holiday for the whole week. But I had to get back to work. He says he just wants to rest. His life is so stressful when he's at school. 7th grade? Stressful? Whatever. In 7th grade, my life could better be described as angst ridden. I suppose that's kind of stressful.

While in Florida, I got a lot of emails from friends who saw me on The View. They were all very complementary. Most people said they didn't think I looked old or fat, contrary to my own impressions. Then today, one friend called to tell me that my makeup and hair looked terrible, no, not terrible, just not like the normal cute Karen she knows - she said she would have wanted someone to tell her that were she in my place. So she suggested I look into getting a professional makeup artist and a hairdresser for my next appearance on national TV. She hoped I wasn't hurt by what she said, and I said I wasn't, but of course I was. Unless someone asks for constructive criticism, it's best not to give it. Remember that should you ever feel inclined to tell someone the ugly truth.

We had a major household disaster today. Mark and I have this rug merchant, Leon, and we can't say 'no' to him when we shop at this store. So, it's always better not to go there. Ever. Anyway, a few months ago, we forgot and went into his store just to "look" and ended up purchasing a ridiculously expensive Persian rug for our entry way, and I'm talking multi-thousands of dollars. We could have gone on vacation for the price of that rug. We could have remodeled half a kitchen for the price of that rug. I could have had my eyes done for the price of that rug. What were we thinking? But we fell under Leon's spell and bought the damn thing. Anyway, when I woke up this morning, Smokey, our cat had had diarehea all over the rug - big time. I tried to scoop it up with my spatula (which I will never be able to cook with again), but all I did was smear the poop into a bigger stain. I've been trying to clean the rug all day - Woolite is hopeless - special Cat Poop Stain remover from Petco doesn't do a thing. It's like Smokey swallowed a bottle of permanent brown dye and pooped it out. I think the Universe is trying to tell me that I never should have bought that darn rug. This, I already knew, but as I said, it's impossible to say 'no' to Leon. As God as my witness, I will never shop at Leon's rug store again.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

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